Cosette: You are in size 1 diapers and 0-3 & 3 month clothes. You have outgrown almost all of your newborn stuff and I kind of hate it. You are growing up too quick! I do not hate it when you sleep 6+ hours at night though. You are consistently sleeping one 5-6 hour stretch, with some really great nights (8+) and some really terrible nights (2 or 3). You don't really take long naps during the day. Usually cat naps all morning and afternoon until you crash for an hour or two in the late afternoon. You still love to be held all the time, but facing the world is your preference now. You are smiling always for us. You especially love your sister, and watching her play is a fun pastime. You are trying to figure out how your hands work. You are nursing like a champ still. We almost never give you formula now, which is kind of nice on the budget. Your hair is lighter than Vienna's and I (not so) secretly hope it stays that way. You are so very sweet and we all adore you.
Me: Motherhood is hard. It's what I have been telling myself for the past little while. That thought is not serving me well. Maybe it really is hard, but I feel like I'm a worse mom, wife, and person when I think that thought. I can feel myself start to begrudgingly change diapers, wake up at 3am (again), make dinner, & play doctor for the 78th time that day. When in reality, what worth doing isn't "hard"? What worth doing doesn't cause a little exhaustion, take a little effort, and produce growth? This thing I'm doing (raising two little girls) is the best thing. Ultimately, I chose this. I wanted, no, WANT this life. I love my kids. Yes, sometimes our days are mundane. Sometimes I get frustrated. Sometimes I just want 5 minutes of peace unattached to a child. And there is nothing wrong with this. I'm convinced this path of motherhood takes balance, patience, and a lot of thought work. Honestly, I'd rather be at home with my kids everyday than away from them and working. Austin does that for our family and I am beyond grateful. So, when I'm feeling like motherhood is hard again, and I will, I'll come back to this post and remember it's all worth it.
Happy 3 months (a day early), sweet girl.
