Monday, June 24, 2013

What Champions Are Made Of

This morning I had one of those experiences that would only happen on a Monday morning, when you husband was already gone. I was getting ready for work, minding my own business and a HUGE spider crawled from behind my makeup bag! Actually I am not sure if it was behind or in it.... either way it was terrifying. I mean look at the thing!

Okay, fine maybe I googled this picture (which I do NOT recommend..... I may have nightmares.) Moving on. Since Austin had already left for school I couldn't ask him to dispose of it for me. I had a decision to make:

1) Run away and let the fear of this monstrous creature haunt me for the rest of my days or.....

2) Face my fear and kill it.

I knew if I did not kill it that it would be long gone when I came home. At that point it could be anywhere. In my bed, in my shoes, in my clothes, on the ceiling right above my head.... the possibilities were endless. And also terrifying. Keep in mind that once I found a spider in my room and I chose NOT to kill it. When I came back it was gone. I opened my covers that night and found it IN MY BED. No joke. I slept in my sister's room for a week.

With that said, I knew what I had to do.

I proceeded to walk to the bathroom and unroll at least half of the roll of toilet paper. I opened the seat for quick and immediate disposal. I walked back to my room and located it. Luckily, it had not moved from it's original position. Stupid spider. So I took a deep breath and........ SQUISHED THE BEAST

or so I thought.
I lifted up the wad of toilet paper only to see nothing. The spider was gone. Vanished. WHERE IN THE HECK DID IT GO?? Oh, don't worry. The next thing you know it is crawling out from the middle of the toilet paper wad, UNHARMED. I freaked. And by freaked, I mean threw the toilet paper wad and ran away squealing. Literally squealing like a 5 year old girl. Not my finest moment, I must admit.
So now I was back to square one and the spider was who knows where. My heart was racing. Tragedy had struck. It was loose in my room and it was going to eat me. I was running out of time because I had to leave for work. I was frantically searching the contaminated corner of the room for the monster. I finally found it sneakily hiding in the dark corner. This time I grabbed a shoe (Austin's of course. Love you honey!) I'm no dummy... Obviously the TP wasn't doing the job.
I SLAMMED the shoe down on the carpet and twisted it a few times to make sure it was dead. I lifted the shoe and to my amazement I had killed it! There may have been a leg left on the carpet. I was too grossed out to do anything about that though. I ran to the bathroom with the spider as far away from my body as humanely possible and flushed that baby!
At this point, adrenaline was pumping and I was pretty proud of myself. I did that. I killed that thing! *Insert chest pound here* BAM. I grabbed my lunch and walked out the door with my head held high, feeling like a champion.
How's that for a Monday morning?

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